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Green Eyes - 3rd Year Short


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#1
Snuffles

Snuffles

    Show me those Curves!

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Helloooo there :) Just dropping the storyboard here for now along with the story outline. It feels like we just finished our 2nd year film mere hours ago and here we are again!

How-ev-er! This time we have the amazingness that are Jim and Kendal taking care of our environments, no more grey for us!

Quick note. The storyboard uses a revised version of the story outline where the scene is set witht he lovers, then shifts focus. Jeremy felt that would be a stronger twist.

BUT.

After we presented our storyboard to Dan yesterday he felt that we should introduce the snitch better and feel more sympathy for him, so we are considering going back to the Story Outline.

What do you guys think?!


INT. Girl's Bedroom

Close-up of a red ribbon on the floor, in the background we can faintly make out the silhouette of a hand, everything else is too blurred out.

INT. Barn

Fade out A man nervously plays with an object in his hands, we cannot see his face but are introduced to him through close-up snippets of his hands, lips, etc. The camera watches from the side as he gathers up the courage to open the door he is standing behind. As the door opens slowly his face is illuminated and we see him for the first time. But wait, hooves are heard just outside, clattering on the cobblestones, the man is startled and lets go of the door, taking a step back.

EXT. Inn Yard

A handsome rider rides up to a window and knocks. The man in the shadows takes a step forward, seeking out a crack to spy through, through through his point of view we watch the lovers meet. As the rider promises his return and the maiden begs him not to go, the man in the shadows grows more and more enraged. The scene ends with him turning away from the door and walking into shadow as the rider leaves.

INT. Guard's Quarters

Fade to the back of a man's head, looking at a notice board with a wanted poster, we can see his ear clearly, and suddenly a man whispers into it. The guard turns.

EXT. Inn Yard

Cut to the woman at the well, guards storm the yard and capture her, manhandling her, the snitch is shocked, this was not part of the plan, he tries to go to her but is quickly knocked out with the butt of a musket.

INT. Girl's Bedroom

He comes to. Noticing the girls red ribbon on the floor, stands up slowly and takes in the scene. Girl is tied to the foot of the bed, gagged and bruised up with a soldier casually pointing a gun at her head. At the window more guards, looking out into the darkness, waiting for the rider. The waiting game begins, when suddenly we hear hooves outside, the guns are cocked and the girl starts struggling, trying to scream, to warn her lover. The observer watches with apprehension, flinching as she is hit, gathering courage, struggling against his own captors, tension mounting, quick cutaways to the rider, the hooves, his face, quick shots, the guard pointing the gun at her is loosing his nerve, fingers on triggers, she struggles he struggle until BANG, a flash then darkness...

We get back to the original scene, we see the man lying across her lap, blood staining his white shirt, the moment is frozen in time. He is dead, sacrificed himself for her, realising her love is greater and he needs to let go.



Storyboard:

Long jpeg is long!

#2
BOWNSTER

BOWNSTER

    Animator

  • 911 posts
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  • Location:London
  • Company: Sony
Wow, looking very good guys!!! now i am deffo excited to start seeing your work getting posted on here :)

Have no dout that this is going to look amazing.

#3
Moid

Moid

    It was the night of the demon

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Excellent - apart from spelling mistakes, the edit between shot 24 and 25 - should you have a muffled scream there? The woman is dragged away, but is she unconscious, or is she awake and struggling / screaming?

shot 26 - I suspect you're going to need close ups of the snitch's face inserted here - I think the screen is too full of movement from the other characters, so he might not be noticed.

shot 52 - I'm not sure if it's clear the gun is aiming at the woman?

also at the end do we not need to see the rider hear the shot and turn around and flee? then cut to the dead snitch?

What did Jeremy and Dan think about the fact that the woman is still in captivity and that isn't resolved at the end?





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